"Jon! Jon! JONNY!" Phredaria practically shouted at Jon Chess in the common room of the Pig & Whistle tavern in the Old Town section of Stormwind. She hustled in past the other patrons like a hamster on a cocaine high and plopped herself in the chair adjacent to Jon's own seat. "I had the most marvelous time last night at Stilettos! Thank you so much for telling me about it and giving me directions! I met Tootsie, and I see why you call her the most beautiful - and tallest - dwarven maiden you've ever seen! Her hair is like the smoking embers of the Great Forge, and her smile as bright as a cloud of sparks from a hammer's impact on hot steel! And I met Lashes, whose hair is like a raven's wing and who tells the best jokes and has the sultriest smile! And the bartender Drex... I didn't catch his full name, I know its not Drex but everyone calls his Drex so I call him Drex and he called me "Sweet Cheeks" and... wait, I wonder if that means he liked my smile or my ass, probably my smile but I was so busy blushing after he danced that I was a little flustered..."
"Phred?" said Jon Chess, a smile lurking somewhere under his hangover scowl.
"Yes, Jonny?"
"Slow. Down. Until. I. Have. Coffee."
"Oh, yeah, sorry Jonny, but I had so much fun and it was so exciting and I met so many nice people and.. I am doing it again, aren't I? Sorry, Jonny." Phredaria blushed. She was, as a rule, shy and reticent to talk, but once she felt comfortable, all of the words and secrets she kept inside her head burst forth like the water from a broken dam.
"It's fine, love. I just... was up late last night," Jon half=explained, half-complained.
"Casework?" Phred guessed. Jon was a private investigator, after all.
"No... gambling, actually."
"Gambling? Cards or dice? Have I ever told you about how to calculate variables in casting a set of gambling dice? First you..."
"Phred, tell me more about last night."
"Oh, there were more dancers, one a human I didn't trust whose name I don't remember, one a Worgen who I think had mange and fleas. I brought Moriarity with me," she said, naming her lovable corgi. "I hope he didn't catch anything from that dancer, although there was a bridal party that seemed to think he was the bee's knees... why do tey say that, Jonny? Bees don't really have knees, they have segmented... oh wait, focus focus focus!"
"Riley was there with the bridal party, and she had a new dress that certainly showed off her boobs, she is really lovely Jonny, I can see why you like her. Oh, and I got to meet a Ren'dorei named Nola, she was very sweet and shared her wine and when lashes told us to check to make sure our panties were wet she said she never wore them. You would like her, Jonny, she's clever and witty and has long black hair and wore this rather tight yellow dress that highlighted her creamy blue skin. You would have drooled, but then it's a strip club, so I imagine you drool a lot there. Oh, and after I went home to Dalaran I found Melody Cooper, your White Queen.. or was she a Black Queen? Your Chess stuff always confuses me, how you can play at in only two dimensions I will never know, but she said she would look into removing the Bishop from the board."
"Did she? Thank you, Phred." Jon could not wait for the villainous wretch that was Bellodria Masque to be taken down; the Worgen warlock had tortured Jon and tried to turn him into a serial killer of Ren'dorei, she had tormented and threatened Tootsie, and had tortured Bird. Even with the mental disciplines Jon had learned at the Temple of the Tiger in Pandaria, he had not relished coming within range of her mental assault - and then he was reminded that the lethal lady named Elegant Viper could take care of her from far outside the range of her abilities to mentally dominate her opponent.
"Oh, anything for you Jonny!" Phred enthused. "Now... make me breakfast? maybe those Rylak crepes you fil with berries and whipped cream? I may be a mage, but you are a wizard in the kitchen!"
"Phred?" said Jon Chess, a smile lurking somewhere under his hangover scowl.
"Yes, Jonny?"
"Slow. Down. Until. I. Have. Coffee."
"Oh, yeah, sorry Jonny, but I had so much fun and it was so exciting and I met so many nice people and.. I am doing it again, aren't I? Sorry, Jonny." Phredaria blushed. She was, as a rule, shy and reticent to talk, but once she felt comfortable, all of the words and secrets she kept inside her head burst forth like the water from a broken dam.
"It's fine, love. I just... was up late last night," Jon half=explained, half-complained.
"Casework?" Phred guessed. Jon was a private investigator, after all.
"No... gambling, actually."
"Gambling? Cards or dice? Have I ever told you about how to calculate variables in casting a set of gambling dice? First you..."
"Phred, tell me more about last night."
"Oh, there were more dancers, one a human I didn't trust whose name I don't remember, one a Worgen who I think had mange and fleas. I brought Moriarity with me," she said, naming her lovable corgi. "I hope he didn't catch anything from that dancer, although there was a bridal party that seemed to think he was the bee's knees... why do tey say that, Jonny? Bees don't really have knees, they have segmented... oh wait, focus focus focus!"
"Riley was there with the bridal party, and she had a new dress that certainly showed off her boobs, she is really lovely Jonny, I can see why you like her. Oh, and I got to meet a Ren'dorei named Nola, she was very sweet and shared her wine and when lashes told us to check to make sure our panties were wet she said she never wore them. You would like her, Jonny, she's clever and witty and has long black hair and wore this rather tight yellow dress that highlighted her creamy blue skin. You would have drooled, but then it's a strip club, so I imagine you drool a lot there. Oh, and after I went home to Dalaran I found Melody Cooper, your White Queen.. or was she a Black Queen? Your Chess stuff always confuses me, how you can play at in only two dimensions I will never know, but she said she would look into removing the Bishop from the board."
"Did she? Thank you, Phred." Jon could not wait for the villainous wretch that was Bellodria Masque to be taken down; the Worgen warlock had tortured Jon and tried to turn him into a serial killer of Ren'dorei, she had tormented and threatened Tootsie, and had tortured Bird. Even with the mental disciplines Jon had learned at the Temple of the Tiger in Pandaria, he had not relished coming within range of her mental assault - and then he was reminded that the lethal lady named Elegant Viper could take care of her from far outside the range of her abilities to mentally dominate her opponent.
"Oh, anything for you Jonny!" Phred enthused. "Now... make me breakfast? maybe those Rylak crepes you fil with berries and whipped cream? I may be a mage, but you are a wizard in the kitchen!"
No comments:
Post a Comment